more X-ings, Jin-Go-Weh-Di-Wey or edgewaterenigma

4inna AM 2inna aftanoon
now hittin my stride won’t need that 3rd leg soon
form of a lion regal presence of a queen
stretch out her wingspan and questions what my eyes seen
tell her I traveled far w/sight beyond sight
looked within my heart stayed afire I shined my own light
dark and deep as red moons in winter a red son in summer
tide pools me hard I give in and go under
thought I couldn’t breathe that was my 1st surprise
thought I couldn’t see til I opened my eyes


Zero Hour

"This is welfare" a woman standing somewhere behind me in line is telling one of her juniors

"if you don't want to deal with this get a job. you young, if you not disabled go get you a job. welfare is a choice"-- she repeats it like a mantra. 'A choice,' I think, 'guess she made it'
When I get to the waiting area another sister is testifying, hard. In between talking about what god did for her, and making people laugh or smile, she's going in on the office staff, and how slowly they're serving people, at one point the coded door opens and she says 'Look at all those mf's', alluding to the fact that they appear to be fully staffed and chilling.
She is escorted out by security under the pretense that she is on the wrong floor, and that they are directing her to the proper office. She's here for the same reason most of us are, and several people mumble, she wasn't bothering nobody, but everybody is client and compliant. I'm frozen, not so much b/c I'm afraid to get kicked out, as b/c I still haven't figured out how to give battle peacefully
In passing, she declares herself, Sylvia Estes Motherf*ckers, smooth and smoky-voiced, like Estes is her middle name
And this fly brown still smiling @4 since 8am... lookin like she needs some tenderness
And a next one talking 'bout revolution

It's not especially humbling in real life. I know my parents did it, and I know I pay for it. All kinds of folks in here, some seeming to fit the master narrative stereotypes some not. What critics of social welfare programs have not been willing to understand, is that none of this stuff is free. Somebody pays for it, or paid for it. and it wasn't them with their 'innovation' or 'industry'. It was definitely somebody poor, most likely somebody brown, on the other end of a boot stick lash gun

need to liberate this sh*t, we paid in, you making it real hard to get it out
I guess they figure we should just give thanks it ain't Citibank
but what it comes down to is things ain't right


QGK: Trill With A Golden Gun

You think hundreds of years from now, somebody will happen upon the tomb of Q/G/Khadhafi, and say "there was a time..."?

For the fifty-leventh time, I'm from the Chi, so between Farrakhan and Fort, NOI and El Rukn, there in fact, was a time

when I was a boy, folk thought I would become a pastor because I preached words of our people's prophets from pulpits and ministered to the miseries of many
when I was a boy, I was an atheist, and very politicized, so I preferred orator
Had I listened more closely to the young lord in the background, perhaps I'd have internalized Felipe's revelation, that un oracion is a prayer
other tongues other things right?
so let us pray


Steve Jobs Plays in the Dark

...Oh my god[s] as I turned on the tv, this evening, I was disgusted, by all the injustice, (all the injustice) MJJ & JDJJ

The BBC gadget in my iGoogle had consecutive headlines on Wednesday

World mourns death of Steve Jobs
Syria protests: More than 2,900 killed overall, says UN

If you know any of this, then the calculus 'World' uses to value a human life, or death, becomes clearer, even if loosely sketched
what does it contribute to the machine?
because 'World' was only concerned with mourning 0.5 Syrians, the rest to be mourned locally (TBML)

'World' is like the 'We' I've asked about previously, it don't know me, and may not know you if you're reading this, and it will not mourn us
The universal, I've been butting up against that this week
Today counts too, your special Kolon Day edition  ...cue Hugh Masekela
Colonial Man


Effortless/Relentless, for 85+5

'How did I beat you?' Morpheus' question recuperated by Exu, reminding me to choose my reactions, in this moment and always
The issue really, as I continue to grow in this discipline, is that I don't yet have the skill to win every battle w/o fighting it
so these wannabattle cats... all I'm sayin is where I'm from, if you want beef we'll cut you some
...sick and tired of the arguin' /I (can't) keep it bottled in
and the pressure builds, venting toward eruption
gods entreat in whispers
windroar rendered sottovoce
just at the edge of my hearing:
I asked my godmother how to handle it all w/out access to my normal  outlets
she said 'you will be tested. pray and learn how to release in their absence'
I said: right on
cuz what else was I gon' say?
re-called too, an axiom adopted years ago:
'Cool is like the Tao; if you're working at it, you ain't there yet'
I'm bout it
Itutu more
Effortless soon

 A lesson though for who think they know but have no idea
If I'm not your son, reconsider attempting to son me
I'm not bowing to you, ever
I'm bowing to my gods and the lessons they send me through you
that you got it twisted is neither my fault nor responsibility
but you may be surprised after battle is joined and lessons are learned
I always call on my gods b4 I join
pray neither for myself nor my allies
but for foes and foe-familia
like Moses in my Moja year
not from a place so great as love
but compassion
mwe ever victorious 

meanwhile cats was sending Troy Davis much needed darkness to silence the echo of white death, somebody's idea of 99ers are occupying Wall St., and Belo Monte, godsdamn.
So many have so much things to say right now, but I assume you came here for the personal. I know assumptions can be dangerous, been reminded lately


Game of Thrones: Jay, Ye, and the Fall of Troy

This week I had Watch the Throne in heavy rotation, some of it anyway. It's all social text, but the 5 songs that spoke to me could've been their own EP: Otis, Gotta Have It, Murder to Excellence, Made in America, and the Joy

When Jay said on the 1st single 'not bad for some immigrants', he's talking about his and Ye's arrivants who came in shackles
I listen to them reaching for something collective as they continue to celebrate themselves, it sounds impotent, important, and immature all at once. Ye said he not gonna be political any more, I guess that's why you ain't hear from him this week.

I heard a piece of Otis in my homeboy's whip right before I broke out, so my first real taste was this video for MiA
I thought again of carnival in the wake of Irene, and how different, how grey everything seems this year
Yea, we're a storm but damn
The more I watched, and when I stopped watching, entered into blindness to just listen, the more it became apparent to me that MiA is a blues song
Listen to Ocean
He's moaning, almost wailing. It's all in the hook, crying out for salvation but still masking.
listen again, we haven't made it, not in a way that preserves our humanity. maybe if we keep sayin it it will be true, but it's gettin harder to fake. I told my good brother and he was mad skeptical, I said:
None of it is exactly what I, or maybe you might wish for it to be, it's what it is. but listen to the beginning and tell me it doesn't evoke Nightshift by The Commodores. Me and Ye around the same age, so I can hear some of the songs in his songs.

This is the starspangled banner and Jay said it like he said it
Sweet sounds come down, land of the free where they hang the slave



In a mellow mood like Temptations
it's temptations out here too, but I'm strong w/it

I been back for a week, feels like two days
Did so much and did so little
landed in instability, thought I was gonna be like that cat from the Thriller video, clean white suit sleepin in the street, and I learned that all temptations ain't sexy. feel free to ask me bout that, I've heard tell that my prose can be opaque, but dig, I grew up on need-to-know

you know there's.... when you plug in a flashdrive (PC), you get tempted to speed up yr system w/readyboost, right?
like I do and don't want readyboost
I need an adapter
like is there an app for that?
is there a  translation we're losing
lossless compression,  right? hi-fidelity
where's the app for that?
but it's all good
cuz it's like boom, come thru, come thru, come thru stuntin
and my people dem helped to ground me


Egun and the real

Talking w/my ancestors makes me think of ‘We Are One’ sung by Sue Conway, and Birago Diop’s ‘Listen’, on the rocks w/some sweet honey

Thought about @bornraggamuffin, who describes herself as 'Daughter of my ancestors. Mother of my descendents. Strong on 2 sides'
I can dig that, deeply
I miss my niece, doin this for me and her

She gave me the book I write these words in
Once that jawn leaves page and gets to screen it loses fidelity, seems like. need some type of lossless compress.
But here are some real true things:

My blackness is neither prison nor burden, and all my line lives forever. These truths do not render me irresponsible -- as my brother Sangodele reminds us, Honor remains

Ain’t much more than sweat inside my hand, xept these 2 good axes, some cowries, and the strength to hold all your hands, if we come together -- that’s enough


Dance the Fire Dance

I think about this chain, unstrung/unforged. Stringing and forging are indeed different acts. But in essence, it may be unfinished yet. She says it honors her maternal lineage, but she means her female lineage like a goddess link. what is the logic of gahdess anyway? I will ask. Time to stop and think though, marvelous it seems. Anyway, I feel I must bring something or somethings back for her. I want to, desire to at least. When will the chain be forged? Number the stars and orixas
Mississippi calling, walking, dancing, burning

That one knew/she still know, Red doors are important
one reason she may have marked, they sometimes open on red roads.  The red road beckons, even as I walk it. Rode past a sign that said Ogunja Rio Vermelho. Ebomi says Ogunja comes from Ijexa, an Ogun so close to Exu that it’s often strong wild and hard to tell


Bittersmooth Down Deep

Iya shouts in the night

Gunshots, by the Ile first night 5:15am
semi-auto, bursts, sound like... the loudest thing you ever heard

It wasn’t Gunshots, b/c 5 min later the drumming starts, and it sounds so good,

Iroko Reveille by Sko

I want to go down but I haven’t been invited


What color silence?

Last words out of BK, trying to make meaning:

Finally leavin, been here and not here at once, felt like BK wdn't let go. Like I wdn't. They say a man can do no thing 'less his ori is wit it. So one more time, I'm leavin on a jet plane. Do and don't know when I'll be back again, far as the scene rock, I might be gone til November

And now, I shared with some one, a whirlwind of stillness. I can do stillness, I have cultivated it, esp in the month of August. I've written about dumbness and stillness in combination, the experience is so different from the thought. And I think abt muteness, and know that when I leave here all I will want to do is speak.

I let go of the language too early, but I was scheduled to have more time before being dropped in.
But that was one more week of preparedness too. Is it arrogance only, to come to somebody’s land and not speak their tongue? I didn’t come to be the master, not of more than myself anyway.

Why I did not speak -- I did not prepare myself to speak
Gotta study. Might have to hold one of Ebomi’s books, Tim Ferris style. I haven’t read that Oya yet either, but the Iemanja one looks promising
Somehow this also reminds me that I can and must speak kreyol

I pray to return here speaking and  understanding Portuguese, and deeper w/my crew, b/c I think you get treated/taken more seriously perhaps

Apparently I know enough Portuguese to communicate ‘My name is Ayinde, not ‘American.’’


Right On

July Again
Forward Ever
Lightning & Thunder

I say... Right On




Listen, as the stars sing, Come and see, the moon is dancing, what’s more, freedom is coming tomorrow. To meet it we need more warriors soon, sent from singing stars shining sun and dancing moon.
Mama had a midwife/I was born the old way
Don’t take a whole day to recognize me, and all sweetwater ain’t sweet the same
Deep like the rivers your womb she know just how fi run you
craftier than your intention she opens before me inviting explosion.
Populate the earth with me she says, or at least Brooklyn, or some warm weather place where African children are safe and proud and free.
How shall I respond?
What shall I tell her, for my children who will be black, fire flowing through their veins, sun and storm in their eyes I reflect
I still want to prepare the Earth before I plant, prepare this herbsman too, dig?
Seasons change, rains feed rivers, as do high places where eagles reach, wombs flower like May, make way for summer, call my name when you bring me sum. We can get it right. I asked to know when nation time came again. Perhaps now is a time, like the time there was. I too am before before, and after still.  Once I had 3 wives, bring 2 friends if you bout it.
Oya woman ride w/me, Oxum woman you know we got some things to handle, Oba woman come to me unashamed, I  remember your beauty.  Love each other and my brothers as you always have, it is an old way. Be not afraid. My place is inside you/beside and before and behind you/know it when you sing my names the way you do/like a mantra, prayer, conjuring/black magic woman