12.8.11

What color silence?


Last words out of BK, trying to make meaning:


Finally leavin, been here and not here at once, felt like BK wdn't let go. Like I wdn't. They say a man can do no thing 'less his ori is wit it. So one more time, I'm leavin on a jet plane. Do and don't know when I'll be back again, far as the scene rock, I might be gone til November


And now, I shared with some one, a whirlwind of stillness. I can do stillness, I have cultivated it, esp in the month of August. I've written about dumbness and stillness in combination, the experience is so different from the thought. And I think abt muteness, and know that when I leave here all I will want to do is speak.

I let go of the language too early, but I was scheduled to have more time before being dropped in.
But that was one more week of preparedness too. Is it arrogance only, to come to somebody’s land and not speak their tongue? I didn’t come to be the master, not of more than myself anyway.

Why I did not speak -- I did not prepare myself to speak
Gotta study. Might have to hold one of Ebomi’s books, Tim Ferris style. I haven’t read that Oya yet either, but the Iemanja one looks promising
Somehow this also reminds me that I can and must speak kreyol


I pray to return here speaking and  understanding Portuguese, and deeper w/my crew, b/c I think you get treated/taken more seriously perhaps

Apparently I know enough Portuguese to communicate ‘My name is Ayinde, not ‘American.’’
Right on then, b/c it’s one of the more important things I’d been wanting to say. I had to do it kind of hard too. The Ogas treated me different after that. Brothas is the same everywhere.

Don't sleep on sistas either,and take care flirting across languages. That shit might get you engaged. In fairness to both me and myself, my godmother was the one who brought up marriage.


You can never really prepare unless you’ve been before, is what I’m thinking now. Esp if so much is assumed you know but not articulated. Like do me a solid and soak those pants in bleach and send the straw mat. Also, bro-pris, no shorts



Maintaining whites seems so much harder here, it’s part of the commitment
I bet they have a lot more all-white-everything shopping options as opposed to none, but it’s not like anybody can afford to just replace shit either.
I keep expecting to see graffiti,in the men's bathroom, something crazy like Aganju Lives! or a stencil of a cannabis leaf w/Osain under it. XangoRoX
Also these flipflops are muito convenient, but they are killing my feet in multiple ways. To bring it back, they were a brilliant white when I put them on for the 1st time this AM. One day later irrevocably nonwhite



what exactly am I doing now, White August? Black August in White, or even RD AUG


Not doing my usual fast, and may not again, but I decided on something physical, will let the commitment speak or not.

2 comments:

speak back...